Extra Chapter 4 takes place on November 9th, 2016… or does it?
“What the fuck,” exclaimed Xander as he looked through the internet the day after the election was decided.
Aase had been relaxing in a chair backstage with Xander before they started production for the day, enjoying a mineral water, when she turned her head to Xander’s ejaculation and asked, suddenly worried, “What’s wrong?”
Xander looked up from the tablet and said, stunned, “Trump won the election.”
“The presidential election, Aase. Donald Trump is going to be the next president of the United States.”
Xander was making a complicated face as he said that. It was equal parts anger, anguish, mourning, and disbelief. Aase, being from Norway, really had no idea of the importance of the matter to Xander.
“I take it that’s bad, then?”
“I… don’t know. I mean, I didn’t expect Trump to even come close to winning. I don’t think he did either. He was throwing so much bull shit around about how the coming election was going to be rigged against him days, maybe weeks in advance. So, I hadn’t really thought about what could happen if he actually won. I had basically consigned myself to having Hillary in office, and all the cloak and dagger abuse of power that would come with it.”
“That’s the blonde woman, right? She was married to the perverted president who was sleeping around on her?”
“She still is, Aase. Very happily married, if you believe the soundbites in the media. ”
“Politics I guess. She wanted to look good in front of the voters more than she wanted to cut ties with a horn dog of a husband.”
“Hmm.” Aase screwed her face up, trying unsuccessfully to put herself in Hillary’s shoes. She ended up giving up and pushing the thought to one side. “Why would you think Hillary would have been corrupt in office?”
Xander put thought into his answer before thinking, and started off with, “Well, not corrupt, probably. I don’t think she would have started taking kickbacks and bribe money, for instance. But she was a person who voraciously wanted power over the whole nation. You could see that in her for over a decade. Probably started after her husband got outed for his affairs.”
“Hmm,” hummed Aase, making note of Xander’s mental connection there.
“And there’s the old saying, that the people who want power shouldn’t be the ones to have it. There’s also the scandals with Hillary’s emails, making her an obfuscating liar who had already deeply abused the authority she had while serving the Obama administration-”
“Oh, I really liked Obama! He looked really good on TV. Why can’t you just elect him again?”
“…Various reasons. But Hillary was also in on the Democratic party’s deliberate sabotage of another leading candidate for the Democratic nomination. Meaning she actively subverted the process of the presidential election, along with the entire rest of the leadership of the Democratic party. So if she subverted the process of choosing the next president, what kind of subversion would she do after becoming the president? That’s what I was worried about.”
“Well, now you don’t have to worry about that any more,” suggested Aase, trying to get Xander to look at the bright side of things.
“Yeah, but now we have Donald Fucking Trump coming into office. He’s a guy who… God. Looking at him, it’s like he’s the personification of the worst parts of half a dozen different presidents. He’s got the thoughtlessness of speaking of George W Bush. The power hungry criminal mindset of Richard Nixon. The leadership abilities of Jimmy Carter. The perversion of Bill Clinton and John F Kennedy combined. And the self adulating dickishness of Kim Jong Il.”
“Wasn’t he Korean?”
“Yeah, bad example, I got carried away. But I remember seeing a video about Trump talking about how he’d form the committee to build the wall on the Mexican border, while sitting next to a high ranking commissioner of the US Border Patrol. Trump said he’d just take the subordinates of the guy sitting next to him to form the committee, because they were the ones who knew the most about the situation. Trump said that on the spur of the moment, on national television. I could tell, because the border patrol guy looked at Trump in shock, all like, ‘The fuck you will! I need those guys to keep the border patrol going!’ So, it feels like the Trump presidency will just be him making snap decisions and appointments without thinking about the consequences of his actions. All while being an open bigot, insulting jerkwad, and boasting about how he’s going to create a special task force to put his opponent in the election in jail after being inaugurated.”
“Yeah, I can see how that would be bad,” replied Aase, starting to get pulled into Xander’s funk. “Can’t the United States fire a president though? I think I remember that the perverted president nearly lost his job.”
“Oh, yeah,” mumbled Xander as he rubbed his chin which now had a day’s growth of stubble. It kinda felt good, so he kept going for a while. “Trump could get impeached. He’s such a power man psycho that I can easily see him abusing his power openly enough that he’d get thrown out of office. That’s actually a silver lining I can hope for! Thanks, Aase!”
“You’re welcome, Xander,” said Aase, happy that she’d lifted Xander’s spirit before starting to talk about the script for Stop Calling Me A Demon King. “So, how’s the story shaping up on your end? I’ve hardly been involved at all recently. Even that kid has been getting more screen time than me lately. What’s his name anyway?”
“Dunno. I always just call him ‘urchin.’ As for what I’m doing, the writer has me dismantling an entire criminal organization and getting ready to face down a corrupt city garrison.”
“Really? How will you be doing that?”
“No clue at all. Honestly, this writer. Sometimes I think he’s just making this shit up as he goes along.”
“That is a somewhat worrying thought. He said flat out that he was willing to kill major characters without prior notice if he felt it would be interesting before now.”
“Yeah. Let’s hope he doesn’t kill me off and have you become the protagonist, Aase. He very nearly did just that once already.”
Xander felt a shiver go up his spine from his near brush with death, as Aase retorted, “Oh, you dying won’t be necessary, Xander. I’ll just take over the spotlight from you with my natural grace and charming personality.”
“Oh, don’t worry Xander. I’ll keep you around. I’ve grown fond of your company these past few weeks.”
Aase showed a prankster’s smile as she said that, breaking through Xander’s reflexive guard to hearing Aase’s playful declaration. While it should have been obvious that Aase was joking from the start, Xander was something of what you’d call, “An Easy Mark.”
“Well that’s nice to hear, Aase. How fond exactly?”
“Hmm. About as fond as a new pet?”
“I don’t even rate in the human standards?”
Aase started giggling and corrected Xander, “I mean you’re kind of cute, but you’re prone to misbehaving.”
“You think I’m cute, huh?” That being the part Xander felt was most important in what Aase said to him.
“Mmmmmm. Well, you’re cute, too, Aase.”
“Now if only we could remember that we said these things outside of this extra chapter. I’d really love to take you out on a date.”
“Well, Xander, we’ll see what happens.”
Aase took a drink of her mineral water, and seeing that Xander said, “Woof woof,” like a puppy would. Aase’s throat convulsed as a smile twisted her face, and hastily pulling the bottled mineral water from her mouth, she swallowed and said, obviously amused but slightly annoyed, “Stop that! You’ll make me choke!”
“Ba-woof,” replied Xander.
Aase leaned back in her chair laughing.
America was basically screwed no matter who we elected this year. It just so happened that we got the Snake Oil Salesman instead of the Power Hungry Conspirator. But I really hope that this year will be the driving force to change one thing, and one thing only in our nation. Abolish the Electoral College, and institute the Popular Vote method of election for the President. Because if America could use that method, we could start consistently getting the people we WANT into office, and Americans across the nation would be able to feel like their votes actually mattered again.